No one can ever tell for sure if the person they are with is the right one. Only time tends to reveal that. Furthermore, knowing that the person is "The One" is a very individual experience. No two people's experience in love will be the same so it is difficult to apply any general theory to falling in love or recognising the 'Chosen One'. However, there are some reasons why some people might fail to spot the people for them - three in particular.
1. The first reason is FEAR. When people are afraid to give their heart, fail to trust or fail to give commitment, they seldom fall in love because love itself has nothing to do with fear. Love is all-embracing, all powerful and very GIVING. When we fear, we take instead, always taking from another to feed that fear. We seldom give anything because giving is aligned with trusting. If we don't trust, we do not give because we tend to be fearful of what others might do, or the consequences of that trust.
Fear also encourages us to dwell on the potential 'hurt' we might get from a relationship instead of the pleasure we will have. But pleasure always comes before any pain. It means that if we spend needless time worrying about the hurt we might have, not only will it gradually come back to haunt us, and also become a self-fulfilling prophecy, but we will miss out on the pleasure too, as we are likely to have no relationship at all while we are being fretful, or we just attract people who mean us harm. So we tend to stay in our fear but rob ourself of the joys of a partnership.
2. EXPRESSION. Many people are afraid to express how they feel, perhaps being afraid to tell someone that they love them, afraid to give a compliment, afraid to affirm someone they care about, or simply lack the basic social skills to have a decent conversation. For example, getting to know someone starts with questions, not just statements. We can make a lot of statements about ourselves but listeners will soon get bored with that. The best way to engage someone is with questions to show interest in them, while simultaneously giving us the answers we seek. So if we are afraid or too shy to talk, we will seldom fall in love in a big way because the greatest feelings of love come through communication, whether verbal or physical, with another. If we are afraid to express ourselves, and the other person is afraid to express themselves too, it can lead to lots of misunderstandings! Most often, though, it leads nowhere.
3. LETTING GO. Often people meet someone then try to control the relationship by laying down rules or burdening it with unrealistic expectations. But we should always let a relationship unfold before us and soon it will reveal where it is going. If it doesn't, we simply enjoy the moment and learn from the experience without expecting too much. Not everyone comes into our life for a long-term reason. Most people simply come to aid our growth.
From the day we are born until we die, we are on a journey of development and discovery. It means that we will meet all kinds of people who are relevant to that journey. It is our desire for perfection and seeing only our needs why we burden new meetings with our expectations and kill relationships quickly. Just let go and let the moment take effect. People always reveal themselves when we take the time to notice. Relaxing and accepting the situation also allows us to see what we want to see and reduce the potential for hurt.
In a nutshell, you will be able to tell if you have met "The One" if it feels right, if you enjoy being with that person, enjoy being expressive to them and trusting them, if you do not fear them or the future, if you feel very happy and joyful in their presence and if you have a truly sharing, caring and committed type of friendship. Furthermore, if you both appreciate and respect each other as you are and value one another greatly, the ingredients are there for a wonderful partnership.
Good luck in your search.:o)
